How to Have Kinky Sex: A Guide for Beginners

Sexperts acknowledge that the number of times people have sex and the type of sex they have changes over time as they get older. If you really want to spice up your sex life, we understand why you’re trying to look into various ways to incorporate kinky sex into your routine.

Even the best sex ideas can be daunting; if you don’t know how to initiate, you’ve come to the right place. Below we’ve created a guide to answer the question of how to have better sex, but add a bit of kink into the mix.

Have An Open Conversation

Before you can jump into kinky sex, you first need to sit down and have an open conversation with your significant other. Depending on your specific preferences, the types of kinks you bring into the bedroom can be quite different.

Therefore you’ve got to communicate about the types of kinks you’re willing to try. And your limitations surrounding these kinks.

The point of these interactions with your significant other is supposed to be pleasurable, not to bring anyone to the point of pain or being harmed in the process unless this has been discussed.

While you’re having an open conversation about kinky sex, one topic you need to touch on is having a safe word. This safe word is a word that will be used if one partner realizes they’ve reached a limit and things need to stop immediately.

Another reason that safe words are in place is to ensure that the lines of pleasure and going too far isn’t crossed. There are several other topics you need to cover when having this discussion, including the types of activities you’re willing to participate in and the roles each person will play during these kink sessions.

While it might seem as if this conversation is embarrassing to have, it will make sense when you get in the heat of the moment and don’t know what your partner wants.

Practice R.A.C.K

RACK stands for risk awareness consensual kink. You need to practice RACK because both parties need to understand what they’re getting into when practicing various kinks.

Even when people are being as careful as they possibly can, there are still some times when bruising, and momentary pain can take place. Before you participate in each session, both parties need to understand the things that can happen when doing so.

For example, if your kink is to pour wax on your significant other, there is a chance that you could get burned accidentally. This is a risk you’re taking when you agree to practice this kink on an ongoing basis.

Not only do you and your partner need to discuss these risks, but you also need to take some time to discuss how you will minimize the chances of these risks occurring because, again, you want both people to remain safe during the entire kink session.

Another main component of practicing RACK is to focus on consent. In any sexual activity you partake in, everyone must consent to what’s happening.

It’s crucial that you understand that if someone says no or appears hesitant, you should not proceed with the action. It’s also important to understand that when it comes to consent, a person can extend it and withdraw it at any time, no matter what, because it is their body, and they can choose whom they share it with and what they’re doing.

The same goes for you; if you want to do something, but get into the heat of the moment and realize it’s not for you, then you can turn around and take that kink off the table.

Take Your Time

This new kink adventure is exactly what it sounds like, an adventure. It’s not something you jump into and go a hundred miles per hour from the beginning.

You take your time easing into and deciding if it’s something you’ll continue incorporating; you need to slow down. The reason to slow down is to ensure you can take your time experimenting with different elements of kink.

Taking your time allows you and your partner to come together and discuss later on if it’s something you both enjoy and specific aspects of the kink you can continue to use moving forward. You need to take your time and learn how to introduce specific kinks and all the safety precautions to follow when participating in the act.

Preparation is key because for certain things like anal sex, jumping right into it without understanding how to prepare ahead of time can cause more pain than the pleasure you’re searching for. Moving slowly can also ensure that you and your partner are able to build the trust you have in each other.

It should be understood that when you enter a sexual relationship with someone, you have a certain level of trust in them. Having trust in your relationship is different than having trust in your partner in the sexual setting.

Especially when you’re participating in something you’ve never dived into before. But trust us when we say this is a great way to build intimate trust that can be taken into other aspects of your relationship.

Try Various Toys and Enhancers

There are tons of different kinks, some of which require the use of various sex toys. For example, it’s not uncommon for people to use things like feathers and whips if they’re trying to increase sensory play during sex.

Or you and your partner could be looking into penis enhancement or ways to keep your partner erect for longer. A penis sleeve can be used to push all the blood flow to your partner’s penis, making it easier for them to stay harder longer.

This can also be a great way to practice edging with your partner, which is when you work them up to the point of an orgasm and then stop stimulating them. You continue this play until you’re ready to allow them to orgasm and then send them over the cliff into a blissful climax.

When using toys in the bedroom, ensure you always sanitize and store them properly before and after each intimate act. The last thing you want to happen is to contract an infection because of bacterial growth on your sex toys.

Or for someone to come to your home and find the sex toy because you couldn’t be bothered to put the toy away the way it’s supposed to be put away in the first place. Not to mention you’ve spent money on these toys; therefore, you want to ensure it lasts for a long time.

Make Foreplay Last Longer

Some people can jump into bed and get right into the main event without warming up. However, for others, foreplay is the warmup they need to get in the mood and take their sexual experience to the next level.

Extending foreplay is like getting to smell the cake in the oven before you’re allowed to taste it. By doing this, not only are you giving yourself a chance to continue exploring your partner’s body, but you get to take some time to learn how they respond to different things.

Are there certain things you’re doing that will bring them closer to a powerful orgasm? Or are there other ways to please them that you’d never thought of before?

Extending foreplay can help you both to have an intense orgasm. An orgasm that will leave you more satisfied than if you’d skipped it and jumped right into the heat of sex.

Forplay allows you and your partner to also incorporate different items into the mix at a slow pace. Rather than waiting until you’re in the thick of the moment and realize something isn’t working anymore.

Make Some Noise

Spicing up a relationship is about more than just having sex. It’s also about playing off the senses. When a person’s senses are enhanced, it makes the overall experience much better for both parties involved.

So our next tip for you, when you’re bringing kinky sex into the conversation, is to make noise. This is because it’s a great way to let your partner know if you like and are pleased by the things they’re doing.

We aren’t saying you have to be wild and obnoxiously loud, but some people complain that their partners are too quiet during intimate acts. When a person is too quiet, it can make their partner second guess if they’re enjoying themselves.

Kinky Sex: Turning Things Up In the Bedroom

Regarding kinky sex and bringing it into your bedroom to ignite your fire, we’ve created a guide full of tips for you above. Don’t forget to take your time and play with incorporating different toys to enhance your pleasure.

Become a member of Phalogenics, and let us help you get the most work and pleasure out of each kink session you have.

Target Keywords: kinky sex